SHOCK!

Sometimes I do stupid things -- really stupid things.

One of those stupid things involves joining Corey Redecop's CRITICAL MONKEY challenge. Don't get me wrong -- the challenge itself is great. It involves reading books that I wouldn't normally read -- sounds like a way to expand one's horizons and grow as a person. Mr. Redecop even states, "By the end, those who have finished this grueling course will find themselves spiritually cleaner, and emotionally more well-rounded. And you'll be able to proudly hold your head up and say, "Yes, I have read Dan Brown, thank you, and this is why he sucks!"

That is what I thought. That is why I joined.

I should have paid more attention to his descriptor, "grueling".

I should have wondered more about his decision to use the stages of grief to enumerate the number of reviews submitted.

Shoulda -- Coulda -- Woulda -- Didn't.

Unfortunately, I am not a quitter and plan to see this thing through to its painful end. And I do mean painful!!!


1 REVIEW = SHOCK! -- JAMES PATTERSON - DOUBLE CROSS

Having visited many Chapter's stores and been visually assaulted by innumerable James Patterson novels, I figured it was about time that I actually read one -- how painful could it be? "Millions of copies sold" must mean that a least a million people have read Mr. Patterson's words.

A million people must have found something of value -- and perhaps they did.

Here is the plot outline from the Fantastic Fiction site:
"Just when Alex thought his life was calming down into a routine of patients and therapy sessions, he finds himself back in the game--this time to catch a criminal mastermind like no other. A spate of elaborate murders in Washington D.C. have the whole East Coast on edge. They are like nothing Alex Cross and his new girlfriend, Detective Brianna Stone, have ever seen. With each murder, the case becomes increasingly complex. There's only one thing Alex knows: the killer adores an audience. As victims are made into gruesome spectacles citywide, inducing a media hysteria, it becomes clear to Alex that the man he's after is a genius of terror--and he's after fame. The killer has the whole city by its strings--and he'll stop at nothing to become the most terrifying star that Washington D.C. has ever seen."

Sounds like it has potential to be suspenseful.

To say that I hated this book does not even begin to describe the agony inflicted by each and every syllable.

To say that I resented every microsecond invested in reading to its end is an understatement.

I don't even want to write this review...so it will be very short! (Sorry, Mr. Redecop.)

Why do I feel this revulsion?

Evidently, DOUBLE CROSS is one book in a long series of Alex Cross novels. Although any novel should be able to stand on its own, I found that this was not the case here. While reading, I couldn't help but wonder why I felt very little sympathy for the protagonist, Cross and actually, truth be told, all of the characters. I found them to be unrealistic and flat; their relationships predictable and boring. The plot was gratuitously violent, contrived and failed to capture enough of my interest for me to want to try to solve the case along with Cross. Further, descriptions of settings were nonexistent.

While bemoaning the colossal waste of time that this novel sucked from my existence, I have since learned from one of those millions of readers of this series that the murderer always targets Cross, his family and/or his loved ones.

This is one novel that will not be remembered for anything other than the literary violence inflicted on its audience.

RATING: This novel is getting absolutely NO CRITICAL MONKEYS out of FIVE